If at first you don’t succeed…

This article and the tips in it have been contributed by our guest writer, Alysoun Sturt-Scobie. Perhaps sport and raising children have similarities to managing individuals and teams. When a child is learning to walk I imagine that you would want to encourage them to keep going with a big smile and positive words and energy. Consider the impact if instead, you turned to them after the first, second or third tumble and said, “Okay, that’s it; no more walking for you! Walking really isn’t your thing.” I can look at the details of a long-distance cycle race and think ‘Yikes, that’s going to be tough!’, and that will trigger a train of thought that suggests it will indeed be tough. Yet if I break the race down into different components, assess the hill profile, the distance between feeding stations, the flat ‘recovery’ sections, work out a training plan that supports what I want to achieve,  then my attitude to the race changes and I know that I can do it. I might not be the fastest but I will finish. When you fail to achieve something at the first attempt are you automatically a failure? I don’t think so. On a racing yacht you can often spectacularly fail with very obvious visible and audible results. Our skipper and crew created an environment in which mistakes could be openly shared and learned from; it was key to improving everyone’s opportunity for success and in fact that of our racing performance. Here are my tips to get the best out of yourself and the team: Know your own strengths and...

Make a brand new ending for yourself

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start from where you are and change the ending” CS Lewis When I applied to compete in the round the world yacht race, I had never sailed before. When I completed my application, I nearly typed “I can’t sail” and that’s a great example of the power of your mind. If I had truly held that belief, then I would never have signed up. I certainly did not know how to sail a 70 foot racing yacht. Yet I believed that due to the transferable skills I had from my various life experiences such as the ability to learn new languages, then I could certainly learn the language of sailing vocabulary. Also, if I had learned how to race up hills on my road bike and ride for over 150km, then I definitely had the skills of balance, stamina, strength and resilience which would be invaluable during the race. I had never even tried to sail, so how would I know that I “couldn’t” do it? As it turned out  I am pretty good up on the foredeck, not so good up the mast and in a racing scenario someone more adept than me would be better on the helm. I did in fact race over 43,000 nautical miles in 11 months – not bad for someone who nearly wrote that she “can’t” sail! Do you sometimes have that monkey on your shoulder – also known as the negative voice in your head – that tells you that you shouldn’t or can’t do something? That voice might stem...

Be clear about your outcomes…

         …and how to get there! This article and the tips in it have been contributed by our guest writer, Alysoun Sturt-Scobie. How often have you said to your partner (or vice versa) something along the lines of “It’s cold in here,” and they disagree with you. And then that disagreement leaves you frustrated whereas if you’d asked, “Would you mind closing the window (turning off the fan etc….) because I feel cold,” the outcome would probably be much different. They might suggest that you go and put on another jumper but at least you will have been clear about the outcome you have in mind for yourself – to feel warmer. It can be easy in this kind of situation to cloud your communication by falling into patterns of behaviour that are not very helpful when it comes to finding mutually acceptable solutions. Perhaps you’re familiar with the drama triangle, a situation in which three roles play a part: The Rescuer: this is the person who often likes to “make things right”, to sort things out for others. The Persecutor: the person who tells you it’s always someone else’s fault (and if you’re the rescuer, it’ll very often be you) The Victim: the person for whom everything goes wrong, “It always happens to me”, “I just can’t, it’s impossible”…. Recognise any of those characters? I certainly used to be the Rescuer; I loved helping people out of their difficulties or ‘rescuing the situation’. I used to think it was a good thing to do until the Persecutor told me that I was wrong and that my advice hadn’t...